Conversations In My Head

Smoking is bad for your health, we all know that but so are addictions to drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, gambling, work, shopping, pornography etc.

So what is my problem? The new smoking laws. We are becoming a total nanny state. Don’t smoke in your car if you have a child. Don’t smoke in your home if you have a domestic worker. Don’t don’t don’t ……..

In a perfect world our environment would be totally unpolluted, we would all be vegans, no one would smoke, drink, gamble, work too hard and we would all have perfect families.

There would be no cars, trucks and taxis and factories pumping out vast quantities of pollution into the atmosphere and our oceans.

We would all be of average healthy weight with no obesity nor anorexia. There would be no sexually transmitted diseases because everyone would only have one partner.

Crime would be non-existent because everyone would earn a decent wage and no-one would have gambled their families lives away or become addicted to drugs.

What a wonderful boring world to live in.

All of these folk who are gleefully phoning into radio stations and writing to newspapers finding out how to report these 5 million new criminals that are going to suddenly hit our streets (it is estimated that 5 million people in South Africa smoke) need to take a good long look at their own lives. What is their dirty habit? How does their habit affect their families and their friends and work colleagues.

Do they ever drink and drive? Are they secret shoppers? Do they visit casinos? Do they have affairs? Are they workaholics because they can’t deal with the situation at home? What are their eating habits?

It is so easy to judge others and so dangerous.

Remember those that are obsessed with controlling other people’s lives do so because their own lives are out of control.

Not only did my father smoke he was also an alcoholic and his alcoholism affected our family far more than his smoking did. He had control over neither.

What does this have to do with AD/HD? 80% of all addicts including drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, gambling, work, shopping, sex etc have AD/HD and most of our clients have at least one addiction they are battling.

I found it interesting to learn that rehab centres allow their clients to smoke.

Many ADDers smoke because they are “self medicating” and the nicotine works in the same area of the brain as does AD/HD medication.

Perhaps if the pharmaceutical companies made AD/HD medication more affordable and medicals aids were more co-operative more people would be able to stop smoking and live healthier lives.

We have to ask ourselves why smokers are being targeted when our government can’t prosecute murderers, hi-jackers, rapists and thieves.

Stuff!

Stuff - the things we determinedly and voraciously set out to acquire during our fleeting lives.

Stuff makes up the the things we ADDers hoard.

For many of us our “worth” is measured by how much stuff we have. You see, stuff is measured by volume, not by value. No matter what the stuff costs, it’s remains plain old stuff. After all, an expensive roll of cloth lying in a cupboard is just a roll of cloth, like all the other fabric stuffed in a cupboard.

Looking up the word in the on-line Thesaurus.com gives credence to the argument that stuff is worthless, bad for your health, and clogs up ADDer’s disorganized lives even more.

Impedimenta even sounds like it could trip you up, or make you speak funny. Baggage - the stuff you need when travelling also means “a vulgar promiscuous woman who flouts propriety.” Of course “baggage” also means the emotional hurts and stuff we pile on shoulders forcing us to stagger our way though incompetent and painful lives.

There are some very interesting ones though. Stuff also means “essence or substance.” See, it’s true, people equate their lives to the stuff they gather, as they roll slowly through life. If they moved too fast, they wouldn’t be able to gather stuff - like the rolling stone denuded of any moss.

Stuff used as a verb means to, “choke up, clog up, compress, congest, cram, crowd, fill, fill to overflowing, fill to the brim, force, glut, gobble, gorge, gormandize, guzzle, jam, jam-pack, overfill, overindulge, overstuff, pack, pad, push, ram, sate, satiate, shove, squeeze, stow, wad, and wedge.”

Reminds me of an ADDers life.

Pat blogged the other day about watching holiday makers unpack and pack up their stuff to go home after their holidays. It is mind-boggling the amount of stuff people bring on holiday with them.

Living on the road like we are at the moment, we have realised just how LITTLE stuff one needs. We thought we had got rid of a lot of our stuff, but when we get back to our home base next week for a short 10 days, we are going to get rid of even more stuff.

Stuff is unnecessary. It has to end up on a tip somewhere, it’s all it’s good for. You can’t take it with you when you die, and your kids probably don’t want “old stuff” anyway.

Maybe I should have titled this post, “Stuffing up life with stuff!”

Or, “Stuff stuffs up life!”

Stuff it!

Packing Up

Easter Monday and we are now the last part timers in the caravan park. Our entertainment this morning has been to watch the visitors packing up.

It is fascinating to see what comes out of caravans and tents that have to be packed and stowed away for the journey home. It makes one wonder where the people actually slept.

Mr Justin and Mrs Justine Case and all their relatives are here in force. Every imaginable gadget and gizmo is brought out laid down on the ground and the owners stand with bemused expressions as if they are asking themselves, “where did all this stuff come from?”

Far more space is required to pack than it was to unpack. Pop up tents are quite common but getting them to pop down to the same size again is nigh impossible. There are those campers who (like us) do their best to fold things properly but quicky give up and use black bags to stuff things into and then there are those who lay things out, sweep, mop, dust and fold the tents over and over again with military precision until they are exactly as they were when they bought them. Oh I wish I was as efficient!

Some families work as a team,  for others it is mens work and the women stand to the side either getting impatient and offering advice or wandering off to avoid the chaos.

Eventually the cars and caravans are packed and the reversing starts to hitch them together. “Come, come, come…. no stop… oh ok a little more …. oops too far…..” Time to check the electrics. “Brakes …. yes, right indicator …. yes, left….. yes, lights …. um yeah… Ok” and they are off.

We now sit back with our coffee and wait for the next arrivals. Who will they be?

What is it that we like so much about our new lifestyle?

Both Dave and I have caravanned before with our children but it is many years ago and making this move has been a huge leap of faith.

I had never pitched a tent before, my towing skills are zero and being a “Mrs Just-in-Case” person I thought I would be longing for and “needing” all sorts of creature comforts and bits and bobs.

As the days go by we have become more and more happy with our decision and find even now we have far too much stuff that we will put back into storage when we get back to PE.

It has rained plenty, hailed a couple of times and getting up to go to the loo in the small hours is sometimes an effort. One day we will invest in a porta potti although once I am out of bed strolling up to the ablution blocks gazing at the stars and listening to the snores coming from neighbouring tents and vans is very comforting.

Getting the trailer ready was a real headache. Even now it still needs a fair bit of work. My efforts at laying the marley tiles on the floor was not entirely successful and we are still trying to remove excess adhesive from my body, clothes and where it oozed out between the tiles as I didn’t have a clue how much to use.

So what are the positives? More than we could ever have imagined.

Most importantly the people are generally so nice! Everyone is quiet and respectful of each others space. We have only had one bad experience where our neighbours at Kaia Manzi got drunk and the women swore at her husband for 5 hours using a very limited vocabulary.

We love the ebb and flow of people coming and going, watching them arrive set up their campsites, the different brands of tents, awnings, caravans, trailers and off course the “must have” accessories. One family will arrive with an enormous caravan, towed by a fancy 4×4 and set up and tent, an “add-a-room” and awning and have enough furniture and appliances to furnish a 3 bed home. They stay for a couple of days, pack up and move on.

A couple on a motorcycle arrive with a tiny tent, a blow up mattress and a pot to boil water. They stay for 10 days and seem to need little else.

Campers tend to be generous spirited - helping others to set up camp and offering to boil water or a welcome cup of coffee. Just down the line from us is single mom with a physical handicap. Yet she has bravely come camping on her own with her son who looks about 5. He is quite at home making friends with all the other kids.

Friday afternoons and frequently a train of caravans stream into the parks - a caravan rally. Activities are organised, badges and bits and bobs are sold to members, awards given out. One weekend a church group arrived in their caravans and held their service in the open air, singing heartily and praying. The next afternoon everyone was glued to their radios and tvs listening to the rugby between the Blue Bulls and the Sharks.

Where we are staying at the moment there are 50 permanent homes, mostly simple structures but each one full of character. Some are fancy log homes, others with caravans and bits added on that have grown like topsy. Armies of gnomes guard one house, a plethora of toads and frogs and lizards another. Most have neat well tended gardens with lots of bright flowering plants in pots.

Caring and interested Park management and owners make all the difference. Visiting a couple of times a day to chat and check that all is well. Never intrusive but always available.

We have no tv and don’t bother with the communal one either. After dinner we sit and chat and watch the bats dip and dive around us. Most campers are early nighters and I have been able to do so much more reading than I have in years.

Families who camp seem to bond so well. They work as a team to set up, cook and wash dishes. Socially the children seem well adjusted, quickly making friends even if it is only for a day or two before leaving.

Food is simple and we are both delighted that we have lost a bit of weight with the added physical exercise and eating less. Dave has reduced his insulin by a third.

The places we have stayed so far are not electric fenced or walled, yet we feel 100% safe.

Life is good and we are very blessed.

If there’s one question that gets me going it’s this; “…what’s your opinion is on giving medications such as Ritalin to ADHD children?”

This question normally means the person asking the question is against Ritalin. Here is my response to a recent query.

Thanks very much for your response and query.

In response allow me to say at the outset that it is this question that saddens me the most about AD/HD. I feel very strongly about vested interests who advocate mono-therapies, or who exclude any therapy that is beneficial. I hope I don’t offend you in my reply; none of this is directed at you personally - as I don’t know you at all.

To equate a complex condition so full of paradoxes and incomprehensibles to a single medication is severely damaging to the approximately 10% of any population that struggle with AD/HD.

Ritalin - just one of many medications used to treat the condition - is unfortunately synonymous with AD/HD. It shouldn’t be. Medication is just one of the treatments and therapies necessary to enable ADDers to manage the condition, and live productive and contented lives.

At LADD™ we advocate and practice a multi-disciplinary methodology. Our two primary activities are training and coaching. I am on record many times as saying that coaching on its own does not work. Neither does anything else, medication, nutrition and supplements. There is no single therapy, product or service that can realistically lay claim to the title of “magic bullet.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Our mobile office, tent and gazebo where we cook, etc.

Pat and I have been on the road for almost a month now. We have a bright yellow “custom-built” trailer that not only carries our stuff, but is our mobile office. To keep the elements at bay, we have a wonderful large tent, and a great queen size bed that is one of the best I’ve ever slept on.

Getting on the road will take a good few stories and some pictures, which I will write over the next few days. There are amusing tales of trying to put the tent up for the first time - in a howling gale, our first hail storm, our “very loud neighbours” one weekend, and the most unbelievable of all, the construction of the trailer. You may not believe such things could happen, but the story is absolutely true, and it will bring out a chuckle or two.

The Magnificent Living  ADDventure Campaign is really about Pat and I travelling all over South  Africa, spending between 2 and 3 weeks in each place, conducting workshops, training courses, and even a bit of intensive coaching.

Our trial run that wasn’t - the trailer wasn’t ready - in Cape Town nearly 6 weeks ago proved that this strategy is the right one. We did two talks to more than 300 teachers, and received lots of very positive feedback. We were unaware at the time, that this was the start of a year-long programme for teachers, for which they will receive a certificate from the Western Cape Provincial Education Department.

We also did a free talk at Rondebosch Boys High, and have been booked to run the Campaign for the whole of May. That will also give us enough time to see my children and their children. We are currently in KwaZulu-Natal, laying the groundwork for another visit or two later in the year.

Our Gauteng leg started a week after we got back, and lasted for 3 weeks. More details on that later in the week, suffice to say that it was probably the best 3 weeks in LADD™’s history. Rushed, hectic, and stressful, we battled to catch up after losing a whole week due to the non-performance of the trailer manufacturer.

It was funny. It was hard. It was great.

After quite a while, this blog has been revived. A new look and a fresh approach.

I really liked the old theme, but it was one of the very early themes for Wordpress, and simply cannot handle the requirements of a modern blog.

I tried to find the original designer, Priss, but to no avail. She seemed to have dropped off the scene.

Great pity, it’s like losing a comfortable and trusted friend.

If you are still reading this, please let me know what you think about the new look. The banner really appeals to me, that’s how my brain was before I started getting AD/HD managed.

Some days, it still feels like that, but at least I know why, and what to do about it. That’s what this blog is about - sharing knowledge about managing this gift, nurturing it into magnificent bloom.

I look forward to reading your comments, suggestions, criticisms, and agreements.

Lets start the conversations!